4 months

Lillian is 4 months old--perhaps for the first time since this whole journey started, I actually believe it.  Even though it wasn’t that long ago, I don’t really remember what life was without her little face smiling up at me each morning. She has lost that newborn newness, and feels like a real mini person these days.  I look at her newborn photos and find it hard to believe she was ever that small.  Her personality is booming and she cracks me up.

Even though she has reached all of her milestones, I’m still amazed when they actually happen.  And I laugh now when I think about how worried I was about our lack of tummy time in those first early weeks.  Baby websites and books sure do know how to freak out new moms, huh?  But the girl who used to scream on her tummy, now refuses to lay on her back.  At four months, it’s all tummy all the time and rolling over like a big girl. She has mastered rolling over and is working very hard on sitting up. She can do it, but falls over unexpectedly so I don’t leave her unattended. Lillian even pushes herself up- leaning on her hands and knees (shown in the picture on the right).   I watched her little arms go from flailing out of control, to discovering her hands, to now reaching out and grabbing for things, and pulling everything straight toward her mouth.  She has started reaching out for EVERYTHING! Toys, my phone, herself in a mirror. It’s amazing to see her little hands explore. 

Even though it’s been a gradual change, the other thing I’ve noticed this month is how much her appearance has changed!  Her hair is much lighter and is reddening slightly – just like daddy.  But her hair color changes all the time. Sometimes it’s bright blonde and other times it’s a dark blonde with touches of red as well! It just depends on how the sun is shining through. Phillip and Opa have very light eyes, so I’m not surprised to see that hers are still nice and blue. And she is growing- long, round and right out of her clothes. I packed away most of her 3-6 month clothes and filled her little dresser with all these outfits that had been packed away for "someday." Although this did include her holiday tub of clothes with Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas outfits... so I did get kinda excited. If you remember, I was ready to "decorate our baby" before she even arrived!

Sleeping is going a bit better these days.  We seemed to have survived the sleep regression we went through last month,  and now were usually only up once, maybe twice each night – around 2 or 4 am.  She sleeps face down with her head to the side, bootie up and squirms all over her crib at night.   I’m still amazed that not only did we create this little person, but I continue to be 100% responsible for her growth. But not for long: solid foods are just around the corner. I’m both nervous and totally excited! She seems more than ready- watching Mommy eat. The high chair is definitely ready to go. 

She has picked up an interest in reading and can turn the pages of her books before picking up the corners and placing them into her mouth. She also has mastered holding toys, splashing in the bath tub, spitting and laughing. I know it's cliche to say, but I seriously cannot imagine my life without her. When we are apart, I am always thinking of her and a piece of my heart is missing her.  I am sad to say that this month my mother, Lillian's Oma, is leaving us to return to England. We are definitely going to miss her as she has been wonderful company and a great deal of help. I could not thank her enough for what she has been for our family- but now it's time for just Lilly & I to bond, and that is something I am looking forward to.  Overall, life with Lillian continues to be a surprising, exhausting and exciting adventure. I don't want to go back to my former life. "Freedom" is overrated- this little lady is so much sweeter.  For four months, our days have been non-stop roller coaster of events, but they are so much brighter because of it.