Lillian is 4 months old--perhaps for the first time since this whole journey started, I actually believe it. Even though it wasn’t that long ago, I don’t really remember what life was without her little face smiling up at me each morning. She has lost that newborn newness, and feels like a real mini person these days. I look at her newborn photos and find it hard to believe she was ever that small. Her personality is booming and she cracks me up.
Even though she has reached all of her milestones, I’m still amazed when they actually happen. And I laugh now when I think about how worried I was about our lack of tummy time in those first early weeks. Baby websites and books sure do know how to freak out new moms, huh? But the girl who used to scream on her tummy, now refuses to lay on her back. At four months, it’s all tummy all the time and rolling over like a big girl. She has mastered rolling over and is working very hard on sitting up. She can do it, but falls over unexpectedly so I don’t leave her unattended. Lillian even pushes herself up- leaning on her hands and knees (shown in the picture on the right). I watched her little arms go from flailing out of control, to discovering her hands, to now reaching out and grabbing for things, and pulling everything straight toward her mouth. She has started reaching out for EVERYTHING! Toys, my phone, herself in a mirror. It’s amazing to see her little hands explore.
Even though it’s been a gradual change, the other thing I’ve noticed this month is how much her appearance has changed! Her hair is much lighter and is reddening slightly – just like daddy. But her hair color changes all the time. Sometimes it’s bright blonde and other times it’s a dark blonde with touches of red as well! It just depends on how the sun is shining through. Phillip and Opa have very light eyes, so I’m not surprised to see that hers are still nice and blue. And she is growing- long, round and right out of her clothes. I packed away most of her 3-6 month clothes and filled her little dresser with all these outfits that had been packed away for "someday." Although this did include her holiday tub of clothes with Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas outfits... so I did get kinda excited. If you remember, I was ready to "decorate our baby" before she even arrived!
Sleeping is going a bit better these days. We seemed to have survived the sleep regression we went through last month, and now were usually only up once, maybe twice each night – around 2 or 4 am. She sleeps face down with her head to the side, bootie up and squirms all over her crib at night. I’m still amazed that not only did we create this little person, but I continue to be 100% responsible for her growth. But not for long: solid foods are just around the corner. I’m both nervous and totally excited! She seems more than ready- watching Mommy eat. The high chair is definitely ready to go.
She has picked up an interest in reading and can turn the pages of her books before picking up the corners and placing them into her mouth. She also has mastered holding toys, splashing in the bath tub, spitting and laughing. I know it's cliche to say, but I seriously cannot imagine my life without her. When we are apart, I am always thinking of her and a piece of my heart is missing her. I am sad to say that this month my mother, Lillian's Oma, is leaving us to return to England. We are definitely going to miss her as she has been wonderful company and a great deal of help. I could not thank her enough for what she has been for our family- but now it's time for just Lilly & I to bond, and that is something I am looking forward to. Overall, life with Lillian continues to be a surprising, exhausting and exciting adventure. I don't want to go back to my former life. "Freedom" is overrated- this little lady is so much sweeter. For four months, our days have been non-stop roller coaster of events, but they are so much brighter because of it.
This month was super busy; vaccinations, flying to the other side of the country, our first run in the Bob together and my graduation. I am excited to announce that Lillian is able to hold her head upright without support and started rolling. Sleeping is going ok. We go from 3 hours to 5 hour stretches, with 4 being most days.
Miss Lilly really has begun playing with her hands. She is starting to reach for toys and my personal favorite – my face! Her personality is changing every day. She smiles. She coos. She plays on her activity mat. She looks at EVERYTHING. She even watches me with her eyes as I walk through our living areas. She also seems to recognize my voice – she turns her head when someone else is holding her if I start talking. This girl is getting big. It breaks my heart that we have some clothes that she only got to wear once or twice due to the changing of seasons and her size. She’s solid in 3-6 month clothes now and grew out of her 0-3s right around 2-3 months. Some of them I loved so much- I was sad to see them be put away.
This month has felt like it has flown fast since we’ve been getting ready to go out of town. Our first plane ride with Lillian was this month and I’ll admit I was a little nervous. I was so excited about taking her to meet our family and friends, but at the same time, I was worried about being in a new space, being off her schedule, and not having all our usual resources. Graduation time for Mommy required a flight from WA to Tampa, Fl for wrap up week and much celebration. Thank goodness my Mom was there to help us on this trip. Traveling with an infant is definitely a lot more complicated than traveling as an adult. We needed so many more things, and we had less hands to carry it all! Traveling with Lillian was great, though. She was an angel baby- very happy and slept for a good chunk of both flights. The flight attendants were all totally in love with her, and kept checking on us-They also gave her her first tiny pair of wings!
Lillian met many important people during our trip in Tampa; Opa, Uncle Steve, Gpa and Gma Gorby, Bill and Debbie, Marty and Marcia, Lindsey Jesse and Adelyn, my closest college friends and was able to see her Gpa James and Gma Barbara from Texas, again. It was in Tampa where Lillian took her first dip in a pool and the gulf of mexico, enjoyed a big girl bath, cruised on her first boat ride, rolled completely over for the first time and enjoyed the warmth and sunshine of the south. We had a blast, to say the least.
Back in Wa, at 3 mo. postpartum, I feel great. Definitely haven't got in as many workouts as I’d like. I sure need a swift kick in the butt, because I am more inclined to stay home and snuggle than to go for a walk or run out in the cold. At least Mom and I are making sure to get in our few miles a day! We routinely grab ice cream and our exercise is more of a mid afternoon snack-stroll on the kettle trails =) I think Carterbear (our Goldendoodle) enjoys them too.
We were not able to get Lillian scheduled for her vaccinations until she was 3 months. I remember the nurse coming in with 4 shots, telling me to gently distract my daughter by holding her arms and allowing her to look at my face, while she lay there innocent and helpless- no idea of what was about to hit her. I decided to play with her hands and let her hold onto my pinky fingers. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the first needle penetrate her skin. Then Lillian ripped open her eyes, let out this little wail and quickly inhaled, held her breath with the saddest face I've ever, EVER seen, and SCREAMED. My mom and I both had tears in our eyes. I was not at all expecting to feel so upset. It was just so hard seeing her in pain, looking so betrayed. Like: "You're supposed to PROTECT me from these things, mommy!" After her shots, Lillian was tired and slept most of the afternoon. Our next appointment is at 4 months where we'll get yet another round of the shots. I'm hoping she forgets the trauma by then. Unfortunately, I know for sure that I won't.
I can’t believe three whole months have passed since we welcomed her into our family. And at the same time, life before Lillian feels like an eternity ago. I know that everyone says stuff like this about their babies and I keep repeating it. But it's SO TRUE. Older parents tell me that I'll blink and she'll be graduated from college. I’m doing my best to simply appreciate each stage, each day. Who knows what month week will bring. Look at how much she has changed these last few months…
Newborn
1 month
2 months
3 months
I already miss the newborn stage. Lillian was so tiny and cute!!! It breaks my heart just a little bit to watch the videos or look at the photos from those first few weeks together because I know we can never go back in time. I am a little sad that she is growing too fast, I want to go back to our hospital room and live there forever. At the same time, I can't help but feel excited for every new day and each new thing she learns! I heard on the news once that the connection between a mother and baby had been documented in a study measuring electromagnetic brain and heart waves; proving they were on the same wavelength. Since Lillian was born, I’ve felt that we had this type of connection, most notably in our sleep cycles. When we’re sleeping in separate rooms, sometimes I would wake up and not hear a sound- but while I was lying there awake, after only a few minutes I would hear her wake up and cry for me. I’m always amazed that I could tell she was about to wake up and be hungry. When we sleep in the same room, which we do almost everyday, we do seem to wake up together but I’m not quite sure if she was already awake and a noise woke me up or vice versa. The nerd in me thinks it's my biological clock but I like to hope we have this amazing type of connection!
This month, my mom went with me to Lillian's 2 month appointment. It was a tremendous help because I had TONS of questions and loved having her there for support. But first: This little girl has grown so much since birth, measuring perfectly -- right along her growth curve. Lillybug definitely went through a growth spurt- a majority of our day was spent with a fussy baby who was constantly wanting to be nursed and rocked back to sleep. Some days, the only way we could get Lillian to stop crying was to put her in the stroller for a walk, with the fresh pacific ocean breeze in the air. We didn't mind though as it was nice to get out, especially since my incision was beginning to feel much better. This went on for about a week and I was still feeling exhausted from the lack of sleep since we were waking up to nurse every 2-3 hours at night. Somehow, I still enjoyed every minute of our 2am and 4 am feedings. She was definitely growing and the fact that she was already wearing 3-6 month outfits, proved it. What a big girl I thought.
This month, I began my final clinical internship at the hospital which meant pumping for me and bottle feeding for Miss Lillian. She adapted so well and was always hungry, eating 5 ounches and sometimes wanting more. It was around this time when something magical happened almost the day that Lillian turned 6 weeks old. She became vocal and I like to say her first word/sound she made was "acruu". She would make this noise when we would speak with her and sometimes laugh with this adorable high pitched squeal. She really began cooing a lot and I really enjoyed this phase of her development. Lillian's personality was quickly evolving and is still taking up every ounce of my heart. She was physically developing too- gaining much better head control, bringing her hands towards her mouth and trying to help her Oma hold the bottle during feedings. Lillian was beginning to hold her head up during tummy time, noticing and paying attention to toys, rattles, sounds and the books I was reading to her.
Since Lillian was becoming more engaged and aware of her surroundings, together, we enjoyed singing and dancing, playing in the mirror, laying on soft blankets and looking at toys- anything to help her learn and explore. It has been eight weeks of nothing but fun, and even on the hardest days I wish time would tick by a little slower. We celebrated Lillian's very first 4th of July! The 4th of July to our family always means cooking out, swimming, and watching fireworks. Good old fashioned family fun to celebrate the independence of our country. This year, we made a nice feast at the house, just the three of us, and watched the parade on pioneer. Lillian was so interested and watched as every car, float and group of people walked by. Month two flew right on by... I don't know how many times I will say "where has the time gone," but seriously WHERE has the time gone!? It's a crazy thing, when your little baby first arrives, you want them to stay a tiny little, snuggly, bundle forever. But as they start to grow and interact with you, you become obsessed with every little milestone. It is so much fun watching her eyes light up when she sees new things, seeing her smile so big in the morning when we appear in front of her when she wakes up or hear her babble and coo to us when we talk to her. Pure joy & entertainment!
It seems like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital & now she has an adorable smile and personality that melt my heart every day. Plus, I am sure she is the most adorable baby I have ever seen. Yes, I may be biased... but you have to admit, she is pretty cute, right? :) I am so looking forward to all of her milestones.
